if i only knew what regret meant

yes, you're just listening to my boring rants

Thursday, January 05, 2006

relations

been browsing thru the blogs of my frens the past few days
kinda realised how much i've distanced myself from them while they are all still actively in contact with one another
i'm so sorry peeps, but it's not tt i'm doing this on purpose... just that i really haf other things in my life tt i'm preoccupied with.
i would love to be as close as possible to u guys but i guess sumtimes things jus do not go according to plan.
or perhaps i'm jus one who's destined to haf plenty of frens but never a close one.
is that so? as i reflect upon my past 21 years of living, i did haf opportunities to haf some really close frens, bosom buddies or wadeva u call them. guess i busted the chance each time.
i'm such a bastard, i hate myself...

funka's drawing real near now, getting kinda nervous as the days count down...
my sister had originally promised me that she'll be down to support but jus got news from her today tt she wun be able to make it this sat.
DUN FUCKING MAKE EMPTY PROMISES U CAN'T FULFILL
so far havent really gotten any frens to go down and support me for my first real dance competition, really hope that somebody will surprise me...

onto dancing, i'm really hating my wretched hand now. i want it to recover fast so i can get back to breaking but it's really not meant to be cos i'm scheduled for an operation on the 26th this month, hope nothing goes wrong... *fingers crossed*
really disgusted with how tan tock seng has handled my case thus far and hope they wun disappoint me again.

astrocow
04:25

I am an object lost in space
I am fear without a face
I am future without meaning
I am helping without feeling

I am twisted and deranged
I am alone in this cage
I can help if help need be
But there's a monster inside of me

He fights for freedom and control
There's a monster in my soul
Leave me without knowing why
Or run the risk of losing your life

I'll care for you, wipe away your tears
And scare away your darkest fears
For darkness is my dearest friend
And with it all my time I spend

Left all alone in my cage
Anger gives its way to rage
I fight for freedom and control
From the monster in my soul

I am weak for I always lose
Madness the escape I choose
If you should meet me on the street
Know insanity is what you'll greet

Stay not long within my presence
For it'll strike you with a vengeance
Then we both shall slip down the slope
The slope of madness without hope


welcome to my humble abyss



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