Wednesday, June 28, 2006
not a bimbo blog
i realise i haven been posting up pictures.. but this is not a bimbo blog that goes about having loads of pictures and not much content. den again who really cares about content in a blog? i've been yakking too much bout my life and nobody's probably really interested in them aniwae.
so i suppose i should come up with something juicy like...
i have no idea lah!
astrocow
17:37
(im)balance
it is hard to strike a balance
between the 2 of you
i try my best to help
but sometimes there's only so much i can do
(the song below is just something i wanna share, absolutely nothing to do with the post)
i don't know if i am the one for you in this life
i can't help hearing my voice calling your name
cos when i
trying so hard not to look in your eyes
maybe i have fallen in love with you
just what is love?
astrocow
01:16
rest in peace
how fragile is a life
that it can be gone in a split second
never expecting it
never quite prepared for it
it just happens without warning
not giving u any preparation
it intends to shock you
it intends to sadden you
you have been somebody whom
i took for granted
i truly hope that you live your next life
better than the one you used to lead
the fight against cancer is
never easy, never compromising
i will pray for you
in my afterlife we will meet again
astrocow
01:13
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
i need
you.
it is frustrating. i lack the courage to do what i wanna do. neither here nor there. perhaps it is really just not meant to be?
YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!! YOU HAVEN'T EVEN TRIED!!!!
i need to suppress my schizo self.
the time may not be right, but how long can i hold myself back? *sighs*
astrocow
05:54
beautiful love stories
will never happen to me.
or to anybody for that matter.
just finished watching another round of world cup. been catching them matches almost every single day and screwing up my sleep routine once again. tuned in to this chinese show thereafter. being me, i got kinda affected again.
i never looked like the kind who had soft spots for such soppy shows, but fact is i am and i love them a whole lot. i'm always ever so touched by the preceedings of the show and end up having tears well up in my eyes. i like being emotional and listening to sad songs, not realising that they'll make you sadder only.
it makes me wonder, why is it that things like that never happens to me? i'm not a romantic but i am one who will give my all. maybe that is just not enough for some. they believe in the unrealistic, in the feet-sweeping, in the breath-taking, in the swish-swosh of the Valentine. and all this they call romance. it is true, i have to agree. no excuses for that.
good men and good women are all the same, they always end up together with someone else. why is that so? often in our lifes, we set out to find the perfect partner, leaving those we deemed inferior. we kept thinking, "what if there is better one for me?"... what happens next? years go by and we hardly ever settled down with one. we panic and make a hasty decision at the end and settle for one who is just right.
there are always problems in every relationship. but it is in these problems that we find solutions to a better future.
i can't believe i'm saying all these out here.
astrocow
05:37
Friday, June 16, 2006
aplenty
injured yet again. one after another.
goddamn it.
astrocow
05:19
getting closer every second
suicide that is. my end is impending.
it really is starting to get to me. tired of this whole shit you maggots call "life".
call me timid, but i'd rather someone else did me in than i do it myself.
so just kill me now, you don't wanna lose the chance.
it is just not mine to live.
no future.
no nothing.
astrocow
05:10
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
it's a lie
I've been to the muthafuckin mountain top
Heard muthafuckers talk, seen 'em drop
If I ain't got a weapon I'ma pick up a rock
And when I bust yo ass I'm gonna continue to rock
Getcha ass of the wall with your two left feet
It's real easy just follow the beat
Don't let that fine girl pass you by
Look real close cause strobe lights lie
world cup fever getting to me.
astrocow
17:56
Wednesday, June 07, 2006
insane in the membrane for the trust by lust
been about a week since i last blogged. really tiring, cos everytime i wanna do so, i gotta pray that there'll be wireless for me to steal (yes, i noe i'm cheap) just because i'm back at home now.
saw her at peninsular plaza the other day. sparked a chain of thoughts running through my puny mind. i have done things - bad things. i have ruined a life. i regret what i did but there's only so much a person can endure. and as far as i'm concerned, a year was enough for me. i do hope u'll change tho.
life is tough. why can't it be smooth and sweet. without the problems we have to face. have u ever wondered, how would it be if we lived in utopia? it really is tiring and trust me, i have contemplated ending it many times. but each and everytime the tt thought is dismissed by visions of what comes after it. the sorrow, the burden, the worries i'll add on to my family (even tho i ain't that close to them).
tell me what should i do. everybody has their problems but why does it seem like i'm unable to handle them as well as the others?
i'll break one day for sure. just a matter of time.
insane in the membrane.
astrocow
23:25