Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

back to the drawing board

i thought it had taken a turn for the better. all i ever wanted was the best for you, trying to objective, to provide a passerby's view but you took it so strongly. being headstrong may not be the best you know?

i thought it had taken a turn for the better. i wish it will take a turn for the better. i find that i am constantly repeating wad i'm saying these days. is there sumthing wrong with me? no there's nothing wrong with me.

i'm reverting back to my old self - having nobody to talk to yet again so i'm here "talking". i hate this. but who can i talk to when even the one who used to listen to me refuses to do so now?

i hate this pent up frustrations. somebody teach me a way to relax, teach me a way to vent them. yea i noe, i'm repeating myself again. fuck.

astrocow
01:34

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

of peanuts and buttercups

i hate to be feeling this way. it saddens me to see u drift further and further away each day. may be its all my imagination, just my imagination. hopefully its my imagination.

oh and i kinda just realised i'm never able to write objectively as much as i want to. i love writing but sumhow my opinions get the better of me.

astrocow
11:25

distance

i feel so distant. with u being so happy and all.
not that i dun wan u to be happy
but i duno, it jus makes me insecure
its something i haf to overcome on my own
but i'm afraid i cant
i will try
i will fight
the demon that is inside of me
the demon inside called jealousy

i still want the best for you.
i want to be able to understand
i'm happy as long as you are ~~i guess~~

astrocow
01:35

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

little red dot

omg omg omg!! $500 in da sack!! woot!!

lol went to take part in this channel 8 variety show last saturday and guess wad?? my team won!! yippee!! the show's called 爱上小红点 by the way hehe

woke up early to make our way down to potong pasir CC (where the hell is that? lol). had to reach there by 10am. so requirements to take part was that we were all supposed to memorise this jingle and recite to them when ur turn comes, after which u haf to answer a "simple" question regarding singapore..

simple?? maybe not so simple for me ahha any body has any idea what's the first fully air-conditioned building in singapore? pardon me but my knowledge of singapore just aint that great ahha

i failed that particular question and was ushered to the side to await for a second round of questioning (which i got through of cos ^_^v)

a grand total of 60 participants were selected and we drew lots to see which host we would be following. initially, i kept saying that i didnt want to be in Kym's team but jus as fate has it... u know wad happened next when i drew the lots haha. and it wasnt because she's not as pretty as michelle (which is the undeniable truth) but rather because of the fact that on past episodes, it just seems like she anyhow whack the places to go.

wait wait wait, wait for the hosts to shoot the opening scenes.. took quite some time and when we were finally called into action, that pain-in-the-ass director kept scolding my team. i reckon its because we looked like a bunch of unruly kids compared to the other ah pek team.. grah. wad a old-fashioned mind.

ignoring that idiot, we selected 2 team leaders to go outdoors and run run run. yours truly, thank you and this other girl from LTA called shuzhen. i must say that she's really something? she knows her stuff man and that includes her way around singapore which was definitely a big plus.

anyways, i wouldnt say too much bout the details of the program here cos its really just too much.. if u really wanna noe, tune in to channel 8 on tuesday next week! it should be shown then ehhe

the whole shooting took the day away but it was a day well spent. great pple in the team and while we basked in our glory with the stack of $50s, others could only watch in envy hoho =pp really amazed that we pulled through this nerve wrecking saturday =) which of cos couldnt have been possible without:

the group from LTA who supplied us with NUMEROUS guides/directories etc..
weiping the lucky hand who always managed to pick spots that were near to each other
alfreda the ms know-it-all and handy with chinese puzzles
and of the many others whom i cannot remember the names or their contribution, i'm sure they must haf cooperated so well that our team all felt at ease and united just within a day. excellent stuff i must say.

really honoured to be given the chance to be the "leader" even tho they dunno me at all. thanks guys even tho it was abit stressful, as tho all ur hopes were pinned on me but i'm glad i didnt let anybody down.. =)

爱上小红点!!

astrocow
22:32

Saturday, July 14, 2007

felt like ~~cutting~~ writing

can one be swallowed by a lover's grasp?
can one fall victim to a love meant to last?
can i be the one to be taken in?
will i be the chosen to live with your sin?

blissfully unaware
strewn before a grave
you picked up my pieces, held me high
and told me i was brave

you made me feel together
when i always fell apart
you made me happy
right from the very start

even if i let go for a moment
you never left my side
i never wanted to love again
but you made sure i tried

let me ask you something
now, do you believe?
that you made me see
what you can achieve?

if i just hang on
and you just wait abit longer
we'll prove everyone wrong
and come out even stronger

all the people
they just can't see
and they want us to fail
bacause none of them can be

forget what they said, becuse none of it is true
you brought me back when i was blue
think of only what we can do
you held me up as i will too

you showed me i can love again
you made me forget my past
because now we're in something
we both know will last

i see you there
in the corner of my eye
why do the moonflowers bloom
under the dimly lighted night sky
you walk down the alleyway
like a burst of sunshine ray
and i love it when you say'
i don't want to deny
i love you and that's no lie

i know there are plenty out there
i know she's one of a kind
and indeed very hard to find
i've ended my search 7 months ago
and she's always on my mind
love divine
our fates have intertwined
we were meant to shine
together, and forever,
you and i

i'm sorry for the times i made you feel like you were second best
in my honest opinion you really floor the rest

always on my mind
always in my mind
always, my mind

astrocow
19:30