Death is a delightful hiding place for weary men.

Friday, March 31, 2006

soul amidst the shadows

Your soul was born in the Shadows.

Your soul was born in the shadows of the moon at night. You're all mystery and enigma and your element is the Moon. No one really knows who you are, but they might think they know you. You only tell people fragments of who you are and never show your true personality. That doesn't have to mean that youre being someone you're not though. You're always yourself and you never do something just because someone else does. Some might think you're a little cold or dull, but you're just hiding your true self for some reason. Maybe only a couple of selected people have ever seen the true you. You are loyal to these people and it will take time if anyone else wants to gain your trust. You let people think that they know you and that you trust them. But sooner or later they will realize that they never really knew you. Be careful. Someday you might need someone who knows what you need. Trust people.

You prefer silence and tranquillity. You're calm and collected and a nice person most of the time.

9440 other people got this result!

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found from Quizilla

astrocow
07:04

minesweeper - the ultimate evil

settled over a game of minesweeper

is it wad i really desire?

i feel so screwed

i am so crude

how will this be

when it's all said and done

how will life be

when i start going on a run

away from ~~you~~ the night

away from what's right
wait a minute here

let me hear your distant fears

how do we determine

if i'm jus being mean

i dunno, really all messed up thanks to the room allocations. duno whether i should go ahead as planned and be an outright bastard. or shld i actually stick to my roots and risk my studies even further. sigh...

the enemy arrives

skip into the night

everybody run now

take it to another time

unity divided

division will untie

under the burning sun

and take a look around

imagine there's something now

look at myself in the mirror

i'm getting random again

need a file sorter for my brain

astrocow
03:50

Monday, March 27, 2006

Silent Contemplation of The Reaper

My darkness fades from view

And enters deep into you

I infect your soul

Let my darkness swallow you whole

You are part of my dreams

I am the precursor to your screams

I engulf your spirit

And take you to the limit

Take you over the edge

Leave you dangling on the ledge

To jump and die

Go on, pretend you can fly

Let me watch you fall to the ground

I shall watch with joy unbound

Let me take your life

Let me hand you this sharpened knife

End it all

Beware the fall

Deep down into my dark black hole

I am the keeper of your poor lost soul

Come join me

Embrace me

Clutch me to your chest

Let my voodoo do the rest

We are the terrors that fly in the night

There's no point in putting up a fight

Let us entwine

Your soul is mine

Let us again embrace

And leave behind this wretched human race

Your body is nothing but an empty shell

Your soul belongs with me in Hell

I infect your soul

Let my darkness swallow you whole

astrocow
03:55

Sunday, March 26, 2006

CageMasters

pictures from The Cage

Champions! (from left: King Yao, Habib, Chua Weiming, Duno who, Lizei, Bingxun and Me)

so now u see, the pitch is really awesome!! ok so wad if i stole the pictures from the website?

none of us brought any camera there that day!

Batam, here we come!

astrocow
01:23

Friday, March 24, 2006

Champions, yet again

i'm starting to tink there might jus be a formula to winning these tournaments. i'll tell u later. and so the story shall begin again, bout the escapades of our adventure which led to yet another GOLD medal. Whheeeeeeeeeeeee.........

NTU street soccer tournament. very bad response, very few teams took part but tt aside, it was like a mini interhall tournament cos the teams were mainly teams made up of pple from the same hall. read: hall 1, 2, 4, 5 and including 2 teams from my hall - hall 3. it started last week, our team comprising of me, yejie, shen weiming, shun zhao, ron, guoliang and zhenming - our keeps. the semis and finals were supposed to be last week but it was cancelled due to adverse weather. ok lemme now start ranting bout our route to "glory".

Group stage: we were grouped with the team from hall 1, hall 4 and some ah-tiong team. kinda raped the ah-tiong team but could only muster 2 goals. a crappy deflected one from me, and another from guoliang. drew the next game against hall 1 0-0 and lost the last game against hall 4 0-1. after some calculation, we ended up having the same points and goal difference as hall 1. so it went to the dreaded penalty kicks. spot kicks in futsal are never easy and only yejie managed to put the ball at the back of the net with zhenming saving wadeva crap tt was thrown at him. so after some nail biting anxiety, we went thru to the semis, which was held todae.

Semis: face off against hall 2, with the likes of james "jamesy hole", shao sheng and zhong hua (my previous AJC soccer capt). attack attack attack, defend defend defend. haha no goals. 0-0 it was. and i was pretty peeved cos i tink zhonghua kinda looked down on me cos he kept attacking on my side (it was the similar case during the actual IHG). spot kicks again. the same thing happened again, all of us missed except yejie who did a perfect shimmy and lots of mee goreng before slotting the ball past the keeper. zhenming saved all the shots yet again.

Finals: we were made to face hall 4 - the team tt we lost to in the group stage. very cautious game but still we conceded the first goal thru an excellent shot from the opposition. into the bottom corner and across the keeper, clinical finishing! we got kinda demoralised by tt goal really cos like the other team, our defense was usually our strong point and we hardly concede goals and to concede one lidat was really disheartening. but within another minute we equalised!! courtesy of yours truly ahahah =p. ron got to the left corner and was kinda stuck there so i was screaming my head off to him and sumhow the ball rolled into my path, dragged it past an oncoming defender (who looked like he was going to take my legs away) and placed it into the right corner of the goal!!!!!!!!!!! ahaha euphoria u might expect but i din noe how to celebrate wahha =/ok so it was end to end action again until full time. 1-1

SPOT KICKS YET AGAIN for goodness sake. yejie missed finally. we were kinda at a loss cos we wud usually go thru on his goal. but.............. i scored on my try! ahah abit lucky tho, thru the legs of the keeper but it rolled past the line tho. more action awaits. zhenming continued to save the shots as per the norm but he finally let in one past him. 5 kickers gone, the remaining 2 of the team had to haf a go. being a basketball player, asking zhenming to kick a ball was kinda asking too much from him. with the kickers from the other team missing it was up to him now. he stepped up...... and blasted the ball into the top right hand corner!!!!! ahaha ANOTHER GOLD MEDAL!!!! YAY!!!!

and so the formula goes like this... first: in both finals, we conceded the goal first. second: i come and score some stunning equaliser (haha ok i'm bragging now). third: i lose a earring because of the game.

ok prizes aint as good as the NUS one: the medal and 120 bucks adidas voucher for the whole team tt's all. but at least the medal looks way better than the previous one. but den again, as long as the medal is GOLD it looks good. oh and i almost forgot to thank the supporters: teck seng, ronald, weilun and jingda (whose first thing he said was "chup si ta men!!") hahah, and this is it - our route to the gold biscuit. 16 penalties, 3 goals and one medal.

astrocow
01:40

Wednesday, March 22, 2006

be my little anti-love

jus feeling messed up all over again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and again and 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~~it'scomingbackagain,thedistractions. u'relikeamegalomaniacaltabonmytongue. keepmeinrealitysothatimaybeabletoloveyouthewayyoubelieveiwould. iwishididn'thaffeelings. iwishiwasarobot.~~

kill me now

i cant stand it

sending out love letters

within .35 bullets

an ambiguous smile

nerves raw at the end

when what you get isn't quite enough

aged edged photos

the phones stopped ringing

its been a while

the harbinger of bad news

kill the messenger

its no crime

anger reeks the air

adulerating the silence

lovers in the dark

up the fear creeps

poisoning the phantasm

the debris of a dream

i can't sleep tonight..

astrocow
04:24

Monday, March 20, 2006

Champions of THE CAGE

Disclaimer: this is gonna be long. So if you cant stand long posts, i suggest u dun read it.

Headed down to kallang for this futsal tournament organised by the NUS Arts and Social Science Club on saturday. Had a hard time getting to the venue but luckily (shen) weiming was driving else god knows wad time i wud haf gotten there. Was supposed to be there by 8 in the morn for registration but as it turned out to be, only one of us needed to be there. Got tricked by (chua) weiming, our gaffer. lol. So this is it - "THE CAGE".

So since we were so early (our first game slot was at 1030), we walked over to the Mcdonald's nearby for breakfast. I could say this was the only meal of the day for me besides the 3 Mcvities biscuits i ate before leaving house and the half a portion of Pig's Organ Soup i shared with the "gaffer" later in the afternoon. Saw Selva (former JJC player who scored the winning goal in our 'A' Division game a few years ago) there and of cos it was natural to start chatting and stuff. We got a total shock when we found out that his team were our first opponents!! I mean it's even harder than striking 4D man. That done, the gang [me, bingxun, habib, lizei (who gladly gave up his place for andre, our keeps), king yao, andre, (chua) weiming and (shen) weiming] headed back to the venue for warm up.

This was to be an extremely long day cos jus considering our group matches alone, we had to stay until 3 plus. There was an overwhelming response of over 30 teams in the whole tournament. There was even a Women's League! Some of those ladies really kick ass man, play better football than some guys i know. You ought to be ashamed! LOL.

And so, the first game got underway. The pitch was difficult to play on cos we were wearing shoes and it was kinda like astro-turf/carpet grass. Our feet sunk in everytime we stepped on the ground. It really took some getting used to. The pace was disgustingly fast and the game, physical to say the least. We started with me, king and shen in defence with habib upfront. Both sides couldnt muster a goal until chua was brought on and he scored with virtually his first touch of the game! that being said, we went on to triumph Selva's team 2-0 after the 8minutes of flurry.

Second game (dun worry i ain't gonna comment on every game), we lost 0-1. Gaffer's mistake!! he decided to "rest" me and still wanted me to say "thank you gaffer". I say "UP YOURS, GAFFER!!" LOL. it was really a game we should haf won cos the opponents were some kok-kok pple from duno where hahaha.

Ok so even though we got through the group stage, it was only thru goal difference of one goal over Selva's team. We won the following games 2-0, 1-0!!! lol ahaha we have a MEAN defence mind you. =p

While waiting for the quarter's, i went around and took some fotos of the place. Here are some of the "grafitti" i found. I personally liked the last one the most, pretty cool eh?

So the quarters was up next. We won 3-0, courtesy of a habib brace and a red card for the opposition early in the game. I was kinda frustrated but happy at the same time by now cos it was evident i was shooting the most in the team but i have yet to score! But still, wad really matters is that the team is winning. =)

Semis: Against this all malay/indian team and they were kinda powerful to say the least. We managed to pull off a 1-0 victory yet again.

Finals: We were going crazy by now cos we certainly did not expect to find ourselves in this situation esp after andre and shen left. Oh we got another keeper from gary's team by the way. We were to face off with jerry's team. Nothing much was known bout them. We were given a real treat when they scored within the first 2 minutes. Powerful shots, quick running and plenty of off the ball from the opposition threw us off our feet. And being pegged down by that early and good goal certainly did not help to boost our morale. We continued to press on seeing that they were tiring bit by bit. And....................... I SCORED!! from the right side of the court, the ball dropped and i whacked it with all my might, the keeper got a shock judging from the reaction i saw LOL. And bingxun scored the winner jus a minute before the final whistle went. We went nuts, abso-fucking-lutely nuts.

Prizes for the champions were pretty good i must say. 100ml Davidoff Cool Water per person, $20 Voucher for this salon per person, $150 in cash for the team, $500 worth of expenses to Batam (not Bata) and of course the all-important medal. So we will be going on the Batam trip soon, yay!!! =)

WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS OF THE CAGE!! I know its kinda ego to be saying it lidat but it's really been a tough fight, literally. The whole thing ended bout 7pm. Credit mus be given to king yao (our top scorer) who scored 4 goals and provided lotsa running. Lizei who so generously gave up his initial place so that we could haf a proper keeper on our side. Chua, our gaffer who made the decisions regarding the starting line-up, subs etc. Our supporters, Gary and co. The last minute addition, Thomas who so gracefully accepted playing for us and not taking anything.

This is it. We conquered THE CAGE. It's been a really wonderful experience and i certainly dun mind playing there again!! ahahah

astrocow
07:06

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

Hall Dinner 2006

Hall Dinner 2006 - The final dance event i have for the rest of the semester. It also marks the last dance performance for the final year students who will be graduating (hopefully). So therefore it is really something that most of the hall dancers will remember, especially the final years. Went on pretty smoothly and the highlight was probably the solos by Ryan, Melvin & Weixuan, Guanjun & Yunting and Yippi & Huiqi.

Fotos for your viewing pleasure.

The guys attempting a freeze pose together... Melvin has his leg on the bar...

Look at the rest!! They were cheating!! Legs all coming down alr!!

The gals acting cool, except Yunting obviously...

The gals acting cute now (i didn't say they weren't cute!!) =p

Yippi the best popper amongst us, and Me

This is how a proper freeze is done (Ryan and Me)

Huiqi and Me trading punches.. (I love this pic!!)

The circus finally brought on stage!!

Group pose...

The geeky specs we prepared for the performance...

The finale...

Well, hope that they will all graduate in time and dun forget the times we spent together yah? Come back when u're free!! This also kinda marks a new stage for me as I'll most probably become the dance co-ordinator together with Yippi despite my continued objections. Haha pray that it'll go on smoothly. But it's still a long way to go tho so we shall see. =)

astrocow
03:00

Sunday, March 12, 2006

pierce me like a sunburn

my body is aching. my shoulders and arms are burnt. i'm tired. i feel lazy.

jus simply dun feel like doing anything now. exams are fast approaching but i dun feel like studying. i noe wad needs to be done and i cant screw it up like i did last semester.

distraction is a lame excuse.

i duno, jus feeling all messed up over nothing again. i tot i'll be feeling okay after those few days of happiness, but apparently not. i need to get a hold of myself.

astrocow
20:27

Friday, March 10, 2006

part time student

i haf flaccid legs now after 3 days of continuous dancing. todae was the killer tho: went for MJ at 530 and after tt went for hall dance practice. ended at bout 1. almost 8 hrs of dancing!! i dun even spend tt much time studying man.
something caught me by surprise today. interview for MJ's main committee. pat asked me to stay for it and i'm like "huh? even when my attendance was crap?" haha i must say tt i'm pretty pleased tho, at least like the pple are still aware of my existence ahah.
nonetheless, i need to really buck up on my dancing if i'm really gonna be chosen for the comm. not very nice to let the juniors see a main commer who cant dance rite? =p
anyhow, tink i'm gonna be so preoccupied with dance next year. hall peeps approached me to be dance co-ord too. looks like i gotta turn one down. i dunno. jus dun wanna be too stressed by dance. its supposed to be fun and not stressful.

ok wadeva, i need to study seriously. i'm becoming like wad pat says:"full time dancer, part time student" ARRGGHHHH!!!!!! caNNOT!!!! i cant screw it up again!!

wadeva.

astrocow
02:31

Wednesday, March 08, 2006

back to passion

went back to dance after about 2 weeks of resting, was practically raring to go cos i haven been dancing for so long. haha so many pple turned up and the stupid studio was jus too small to hold all of us in. but nonetheless, it was still a pretty good prac. but seems like there's nothing i can show my prowess!! lol =p
it's a happy day todae, havent felt like this for so long.
cheers to dance, my passion, my life, my one and only.

astrocow
02:37

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

glasseater - alone in the world

jus realised that within the last 2 posts, i've condemned both my friends and family. so what does that leave me with now? I'm all alone in the world.
Being alone has always been part and parcel of my life, no one to share my joys, my troubles. Some may say it's because i always keep to myself, i dun open up enuff. But jus tink, if u're really sincere in knowing somebody, in wanting to help him/her, surely the person will feel it and tell u automatically. If he/she is not saying anything, it jus means that u aint sincere enuff, no more no less.

Never haf i been so content with being alone, i haf been harping on proving myself these days. This time it is for real. I see the actual need, i see the misery that i need to pull myself out of. I've become a different me.

One year. Just give me a year's time. U will see the results. I am determined to put things where they belong.
And the long wait begins today, this day: Tuesday, 7th March 2006.

One year is all i need. Alone in the world.

astrocow
02:32

Monday, March 06, 2006

so what if we're blood related

yea so wad? u fucking bitch. yes i'm using vulgarities again

so what can u do bout that?

gimme another slap like u did in the afternoon?

or using that feeble leg or urs to kick me?

c'mon lets face the reality

even if u're blood related, u have NO right

u have no fucking right

to act fucking stupid

to answer fucking stupid questions

that u already have answers for

u haf no fucking right

to scold me, to hit me

be thankful

be fucking thankful

that i did not retaliate

for if i did, i'm not sure whether u'll still be standing

in the hospital u will be, broken bones and all

tell me exactly what am i supposed to do

now that i've allowed to hit me

i'm gonna enjoy the misery u put me through

i tink i'm gonna cut next time

even if i am younger

that doesnt gif u no fucking right to

do the things that you do

don't you noe what u wish is coming through todae

another victim dies tonite

so what if i used vulgarities

dun fucking tell me u dun do the things i do

dun gimme fucking bullshit

u moronic asswipe, i hate you

do you really tink i wanna stay around in this pile of shit

i'm gonna make it big

abandon u, make u regret

wad u ever did to me

i'm gonna distance myself even further

from now on, dun blame me

its not as tho i never tried

i agree, i've made my mistakes

but who's the one who always think

that she's almighty, she's always right

haf u pple ever tried to understand me

dun say its cos i never tell u anything

cos even when i do, when do u really listen

dun fucking act like u noe it all

cos u dun, my frens dun and i dun too

i may be selfish and all

but i noe what i'm doing, there's no need

for u to keep pumping my meat

i haf feelings, i'm not jus a voodoo doll

for u to manipulate

don't think i do not haf plans

i am jus entertaining u

play me around, vent it on me

jus gimme abit more time

i will make it all come through

gif it back to u all at one shot

the consequences will be not jus severe

u will haf to bear it all by urself

and who's fault will it be then?

dun tell me it's mine

cos you were the fucking one who started it in the first place

so i haf this to say

FUCK YOU

astrocow
01:37

Saturday, March 04, 2006

~~fuck~~ friends

these couple of days have kinda made me
realise what kinda ~~friends~~ hypocrites i haf around me
who are really close to me (not many)
who are the ones who really trust me

i'm getting frustrated by the rejections
i'm getting annoyed by the avoidance
it is not my loss that they fail to see my sincerity
it is their loss to think that i am up to no good

i'm sure in time to come
they will regret the decisions they made todae
for not believing in me
for shunning me

i really do want to help the pple around me
wad i am doing is not jus about me
why are u idiots so narrow minded
i'm really utterly disappointed

i will make sure, personally ensure
do not blame me when the time comes
for not approaching you (cos i did, not just once)
be prepared to be green with envy

in the near future
i will be able to see thru who are the real ~~friends~~ hypocrites
who are the ones whom i can really can my own
the ones i can depend on

oh hypocrites,
arent u sick of ur mask
i'll clean u all up in one sweep
take them off and quit being the arse

i haf dreams
i haf aspirations
i need to find like-minded people
i need to wake up soon

it may seem like a fallacy now
it is not wad u tink it is
c'mon u ~~friends~~ hypocrites
i'll send all of u back to sleep

all u ~~friends~~ hypocrites who dun even give me a chance
u should be ashamed to be calling me ur fren
u say u trust me
but jus too bad, i dun trust any of u anymore

i can only rely on myself

The above is not directed at anybody in particular, they should know who they are. Frens with a clear conscience, please do not be affected by it. My judgement is not that bad.

i haf alot to prove
to myself
to my family
to the masked pple around me

do not bother bout with ur act anymore
i noe it is tiring (because i've tried before)
ur facade
ur pretence
it makes me sick, i wanna throw up

those who stand by me
gave me support
trusted me
i love u guys
(damn that was so brokeback)

argh, wadeva go to hell u motherfuckers
may u burn for all eternity there
for that, me u may wanna curse
but jus tink, is it really fair

u'll never noe wad i'm feeling deep inside
dun even try, dun even bother
to comprehend the tears i have cried
it will only bring u further

wad i jus need is an arm of support
a pat on the back, a hug even
jus tt and u, i will not fault
den we will be at equal distance from the fulcrum

there is a chance that we can walk together
to close up the distance, nonetheless at the same pace
when we meet in the centre for a cuddle
we will better see each other's true face

astrocow
09:41

Friday, March 03, 2006

future

i wanna do well!!
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...

i dun wanna fail!!
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...

i will do well!!
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...

i will not fail!!
c'mon, c'mon, c'mon...

astrocow
04:03