if i only knew what regret meant
yes, you're just listening to my boring rants
Tuesday, February 28, 2006
Bring forth the change so quickly
I see you watching where I walk
As I drain your life's blood sweetly
I dance the dance of the fool
astrocow
17:13
Monday, February 27, 2006
wad are they? seem to be losing them - my mind, my securities, my sanity.
shut your mouth
AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!
CONSTANTLY FOR THESE FEW FUCKING DAYS!!
WHY!!
astrocow
04:53
Wednesday, February 22, 2006
i'm personally not an advocate of gay issues or wadsoeva, but this short film is really one worth taking a look at. It was shot in AJC (mine of cos), the only sch tt was willing to let the director use the sch's premises. Quite shocking actually, considering AJ has always been a pretty conservative sch but nonetheless the pple depicted in the film are not from there of cos. It basically talks about a gay who suffers rejection and is driven up the wall - commits suicide at the end. Oh and this is based on a true story. Gets pretty emotional along with its "soundtrack", songs written and sung by Kevin Fok (Singapore Idol contestant).
definitely worth your time to look at and ponder about the underlying issues.
astrocow
22:01
Tuesday, February 21, 2006
is but a valuable thing
is all that we need
is what keeps us confined
is needed by all
is what i do not haf enuff of
help me do this peeps.
my strengths
and
click on the red words!! need i tell you everything? den again, u're prob too dumb to see this msg either. buzzzz
astrocow
05:58
Sunday, February 19, 2006
You scored as Satanism. Your beliefs most closely resemble those of Satanism! Before you scream, do a bit of research on it. To be a Satanist, you don't actually have to believe in Satan. Satanism generally focuses upon the spiritual advancement of the self, rather than upon submission to a deity or a set of moral codes. Do some research if you immediately think of the satanic cult stereotype. Your beliefs may also resemble those of earth-based religions such as paganism.
Which religion is the right one for you? (new version) created with QuizFarm.com |
astrocow
19:24
Friday, February 17, 2006
astrocow
03:57
Thursday, February 16, 2006
went back for MJ classes finally after all the external interruptions. kinda nervous initially cos i haven been back for so long, dunno how the pple wud treat me but it turned out pretty fine tho. thanks melissa, david, wayne, ruifen and stephy!
so we proceeded as usual with me trying desperately to catch up on the steps i missed, wasnt too bad too. the drama came jus before pat arrived. apparently they were planning on joining this danceworks competition but there were some screwups so pat was kinda pissed. something happened which i shldnt elaborate further here but kuan nee left the studio and came back with eyes all red and teary. plus stephy ended up crying too.. yea, tt sucks..
so practice went on despite this, was fun and enjoyable.. finally getting back the feeling of why i joined in the first place - passion. got to partner stephy and was pretty jittery cos i haf always seen her as one of the better junior dancers. ended up alright at the end tho' *phew*
now comes the drama. danny was explaining to us another competition that NUS was organising and kuan nee was like trying to get us juniors to join but seems like everybody has their fair share or workload and didn really want to join. gawd then they started to put the pressure on us, psycho-ing us. tink stephy cudnt take it again n broke down again. heard from ruifen after the discussion tt stephy's gonna quit MJ. really depressing news for me cos it means we're gonna lose another good dancer. they are damn hard to come by in NTU these days.
so stephy if u're reading this, i really hope tt u'll stay on. it'll all be over soon. dun let the pressure get to u babe. we all haf times like this, jus hang in there.
astrocow
23:57
Wednesday, February 15, 2006
This is how my hand looks like after taking out the bandage, looks like i've contracted some incurable disease man. It is just so-so-so ugly... wadeva, jus hope tt it'll be ok soon..
flowers we wrapped for the gals. me, weiming and zhenhao went down to fareast flora at thomson to get the freshcut flowers so that it'll seem more sincere of us rather than getting all those pre-made ones.. had quite abit of fun packing them actually.. weiming was like totally lacking in artistics so we assigned him to attach the cotton buds.. 
Valentine’s was jus yest, kinda starting to hate this day. wherever u walk, couples are arnd hand in hand. when will i find the hand to hold mine? grah, wad the fuck. love love love, love ur head la. oh and i found my name in the lift for my block in hall, somebody mus be playing a really sick prank. nobody in the right frame of mind in hall would do this kinda thing. plus i doubt i'm really worth tt effort.
so left for work in the evening without a v-day date. how sad rite. no date coupled with work on v-day. i'm like such a loser man. walked past hall13 and saw this car infested with post-its there. couldnt resist taking a snap. man...
too many things have been happening the past week so i havent really had the time to come here.. hopefully i'll get more spare time soon. slping an average of 3 hrs each day is certainly no fun at all. i'll whizz past the storm clouds and whip up a hurricane tt'll sweep me of my own 2 feet. so wun u follow me down this yellow brick road, or would u rather fold? 2 feet, 2 feet aint never enuff til i see u 6 feet under. together with the crisps, hope u dun get fits. duh wadeva, getting random again, which i totally love.
astrocow
22:09
Thursday, February 09, 2006
you lil' son of a bitch
don't u know when to stop
don't u know what's good for you
why do u keep sinking further into the pit
i'm not gonna bother bout you anymore
don't even come to me ever again
if u have anymore problems with tt whore
cos u are such a
oh and v-day's coming up real soon
looks like i'll have to spend it alone again
like all other years
issit really tt hard?
astrocow
04:17
Wednesday, February 08, 2006
mebbe, jus maybe
i may have found a new direction in you.
as with all other things, time will tell.
blogging from the computer lab now during computing lesson
jus had a quiz and totally not in the mood to listen to the china man now
i couldnt manage to write a proper program for the first time!
the answers it generated never seems to give me a proper angle
goddamnit, grah *suffers from muscle spasms*
okok but tt's not what i wanted to tok bout
there was this bitch beside me (ok, is still)
she types like she's got something against the keyboard man
who the hell types so hard? read: *tak, tak TAK TAK TAK, tak, TAK TAK TAK TAK!!!*
go to hell arsehole
so freaking distracting
i swear i'd kill her with my bare hands if i dun get outta here soon
moronic asswipe
oh and i dun mean to be mean
but she toks alot for an ugly bitch
i love being mean.
astrocow
11:10
Tuesday, February 07, 2006
Smiling is good.
The trick is knowing when to smile.
Even if you feel like fuck on the inside smile
because they might think u're unaffected
and eventually stop hurting you.
Smiling is good.
It may sometimes deceive yourself
Making you feel better
Into thinking that nothing was wrong in the first place
So yea. Hopefully I'd feel better.
Smiling is good.
Though after smiling and I still don't feel good
I know that I've tried and that since the situation has got this bad
It's too much for me to overcome
Let it overpower me then
I cant do anything anymore.
Maybe I shouldnt try so hard
It may not even help me
I need a better life
Perhaps this pathetic thing called my life
Is retribution
For sins I've committed.
astrocow
02:33
Monday, February 06, 2006
i'd kill to feel and if you would slit my throat, i would apologize for staining your shirt with my blood in one last gasping breath.
I feel like dying, crying all over again. Nothing seems to be helping at all, nothing in the world. I'm crumbling on the inside. My paper heart is bleeding and being shredded. I found the pieces in my hand. I cant take this anymore, i dun feel like coping any longer. Jus lemme go, release me from this agony. Take me with YOU into the eternal darkness. Gone is everything tt used to make me feel alive or even feel like living. I'm still around. Why am i still around? I dun tink i've cried enuff. I need help but i refuse to ask, dunno where to start asking, dunno how, dun gif a damn.
Nothing can come close to hawk animore. He feigns everything. The smile, the laugh. No one's there, not that they can help even if they were. He puts on a brave front no matter how fucked the situation becomes. No more thinking, no more feeling. Only falsified lies and the knell of the reason for reasons.
Take me and leave. I don't belong to me anymore. I guess i never did.
Keep quiet my dear - no one would listen anyway...
astrocow
02:06
Friday, February 03, 2006
i cant wait to get back to dancing
on a regular basis
not just like once a week thing
need to study too
lagging behind already
all cos of this wretched tool
pple haf problems
i haf mine too
who will understand mine
dun even ask cos
i aint telling
yes, i'm stubborn
ironic, random and incoherent
i need ice cream
i love attention and
being in the limelight
i love being left alone too
i love hugs but nobody
seems to give them nowadaes
i hate you
the lies you tell
the pain you bring
it makes me cringe
the money i don't have
the girls whom aren't interested
i should stop talking to myself
astrocow
04:11
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
pictures from the competition at club momo.
wassup with melvin's face in the first pic man? lol
courtesy of nightlife.sg
astrocow
15:38
yea so there u have it - the fine piece of art on my forearm tt's gonna stay with me for the rest of my life. beats having a tattoo huh?
on a brighter note..
ok mebbe yest wasnt tt bad, met up wit the jc gang. havent met for so long and seems like many things have happened and for most of them, they'll be goin into the working world soon, pretty fast eh?
went to settlers cafe at holland v and played board games??!! dOh! wendy insisted on playing this "Zombies!!!" game but me and jianfeng got so bored towards the end cos they were playing by their own rules! Gggrrrr, u cheaters!!
Zombie Whoosh!!
Zombie Whoosh Number 2!! (after they killed dulcia, lol)
astrocow
14:56
friendster
cathay
golden village
shaw
too lazy to link anymore
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